Inspiring Movies

Two movies that I find inspiring are Yes-Man and The Bucket List. Yes-Man is inspiring in the way that it is right. Let me explain: well, I have tried the idea that Yes-Man has and well for some reason when you actually weigh your odds instead of choosing the answer that you think is better, it really turns out to be a good thing. Here's an example: Today, my sept-dad asked me what I wanted for dinner between two options. One was totally new and the other was familiar. The new dish looked gross, but the familiar one becomes boring after a while. And I have recently noticed that when I choose the more recent and familiar option, the new one is always better. So, I took a chance and tried the new one and liked it. Bucket List is inspiring because....it just is there is no real explanation for this movie.

Friends and Hurt

Friends can hurt. My friend, Z, always and when I mean always I mean it, calls me names. Like a crybaby and a retard and a freak and a bitch. I know that I am all of these things but why does she point them out? It's mean when you point them out. And just because a person who is open-minded admits that they are these things does not mean that you can cll them that. God, can't anyone understand that? Well, I just wanted to express my feelings of hate on here rather then in her face.

Mentioned

I don't think I have mentioned this yet, but I sometimes have major breakdowns and in those breakdowns, I will call or text anyone that I think will make me feel better. So in on of my breakdowns, I texted W asking him what my best quality is. His reply was that empathy was my best quality because I have the ability to understand others feelings. I don't know, but afterwards, I felt like someone actually noticed me and my qualities instead of just seeing me as a face in the crowd. But when asked about my eyes, he replies "Brown-Grey" and I really don't think that my eyes are brown-grey, but his answers always confuse me. They are never what I'm expecting. And to top that off, I can never read him. I mean that...I can never understand or more like read what he's going to do next. It always confuses me, especially when I find out what he's actually thinking. He is just a really confusing guy. :(

Weird

Whenever I start to really actually like a guy, I pick up on some flaw. And to prove if it's really worth, I ask "What color are my eyes?" The reason I ask this is because most say my eyes are brown when they are actually hazel. So, I think that the reason I don't like J anymore is because he said that my eyes are brown. But, in other news, J is at ihop and I love ihop. Which is totally unfair! W isn't texting me and my friend (lets call her Z) is going to subway, which I also love! It's so unfair! And 'Where's my two dollars???' lol It's from a movie, a really old one from the 80's lol I love the 80's.

No New Updates

No new updates on W and J. They haven't texted me at all today. I hope one of them does and I don't like J at all anymore. I've been trying to get rid of my feelings for W, but it's been harder.

Project

Well, I presented today! And I'm pretty sure i got a B+. Which is totally awesome! Not an A but definitely not failing!!!! WOOHO sorry I'm excited! I was certain that I was gonna fail.

Double Personality

Whenever I'm thinking, I always have arguements with myself. I don't know, it's really weird. So, I was thinkingmaybe I have a double personality. Justt a thought nothing more. Lol. :)

Feeling

Right now, I am feeling.....tired, overwelmed, unworthy, anxiety, and long.

Tired-I am JUST feeling tired; no real enplanation there. I usually am always feeling tired. I never get enough sleep even on weekends

Overwelmed (I don't even know if I spelt that right)-I am overwelmed with the thoughts of failing, not being worthy (I'll explain later), chores, not fufilling My Bucket List, and just plain school and family. It always feels like I have to do more than most, even though when I complain everyone says I shouldn't because others have it worse. I try and try but I always feel that it's not good enough.

Unworthy-I feel unworthy right now because I feel as though I am letting everyone down. How? I don't really know. But ever since I was real little I have always felt like this.

Anxiety-For tomorrow, obviously. Tomorrow is a presentation that everyone in my class has to do. And I feel anxiety for it because.....I don't really know....again.

Long-I feel longing toward people, love, worthiness, acceptness, and most of all for the day when I will be happy and unlonely.

Sometimes, in general, I feel as though I am standing still and the world is rushing pass around me.

My Bucket List

Short-Term:

• To become a best friend to most
• To get all As one semester
• To not become depressed....again
• To work on my laziness and forgetfulness

Long-Term:

• To go to Japan, again, but for 3 months
• To visit all the states at least once
• To check off all the places I want to go before I die
• To fall in love
• To become a teacher
• To live life to its fullest and don't miss out on anything

I really hope that I can cross of all of these things :) I have high hopes for myself, I hope that I don't get crushed under the weight of humanity.

Confused

I am so confused about who i like right now. So its between two guys (well obviously). Let's call them J and W. Well, I was texting both of them last night and J decided to try and find out who i liked (which I'm confused about). So, when he guessed himself, I said "Sometimes I hate you, you know that?" With me saying this, he got really confused. I, then, explained everything to him, saying that I like him. Then, it was my turn to guess who he likes. He kept saying that he was leaving, but I convinced him to stay and tell me. Right before he went to bed, he quickly said "I like you" and that was it. He wouldn't reply to my messages after that. So, moving on....W trusts me all and completely. So, when we text, he tells me whats on his mind and all of his secrets. After awhile, I started to like because of his personality. And with him trusting me, I felt that I could trust him too and told him that I was starting to like him. With this, nothing became awkward between us really, but he likes someone else. The person that W likes is also one of my best friends. So, I was talking to the best friend the other day (lets call her B), and she was talking about W. About how W wants to ask B to the 8th grade dance. So, I asked her what she would say if W asked her. The answer wasn't really what I was expecting because it looks like B likes W. She told me that if W asks her, she's just going to say "I would love to go with you, but just as friends." When she told me this, I felt really bad for W.

WHOA WHOA.....WHOA!!!! I have totally got off subject, sorry for that. But what I was saying is that I'm confused on whether I like J or W. They are both really nice guys. But W probaly will never like me and J likes me, so that makes me even more confused. Because I like W more then J. ANd now that we both know that we like each other, things have gotten really awkward between me and J. So, I would like anyones advice, if they have any.

Never Mind

Now that I think about it, almost everything in the "About Me" section is wrong except for me being a girl and wanting to be a teacher. I don't know my characteristics.......at all. Because I don't really think about them that much and maybe he characteristics I think I am are wrong....I don't know for a fact that I am certain things. So, I always I have a hard time writing in the "About Me" section.

Bored

Sorry, I get bored a......LOT!!! lol but that does not mean that I am a boring person lol. Um....I made this blog because I felt like it lol jk but really I do not know what to put on my blog at all....does anyone have any ideas?